


Roof Talks

by TheKidFromYesterday



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Sad but sorta happy ending, Teenager!Dan, teenager!Phil, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 00:38:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4685609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKidFromYesterday/pseuds/TheKidFromYesterday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil wakes up to someone tapping at his window.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roof Talks

Tap tap.  
I turn over, half asleep, trying to ignore the tapping.  
It’s nothing, I tell myself. Just go back to sleep.  
Tap tap.  
I shove the pillow over my head, focusing on sleep.  
Tap tap.  
My feet hit the floor as I roll out of bed, silently cursing whatever was outside the window. Maybe a fallen branch, or some bird. Throwing open the curtains I freeze when I see his large, round, dark eyes staring back at me, a look of desperation in his face.  
Dan.  
I gently pull open the window so it doesn’t squeak and lean out.  
The boy is sitting on the roof outside my window in nothing more than jeans and a t shirt in the freezing February weather. His eyes are wide and scared and he’s breathing hard, each breath sending out a puff of smoke in to the air.   
“Dan? It’s two am, what are you doing here?” I whisper, and he swallows.   
“I—my mom—she—” He breaks off, ducking his head away from my gaze. “We…we had a fight again, nothing new I know but it really hurt and I need to talk with someone, Phil, please. I’m scared.” His voice breaks off at the last word and I nod.  
“Okay. Um, yeah okay, we’ll talk, do you want to come in—?”  
He shakes his head. “No. Can we talk out here?”  
“Of course. Hang on, lemme change.”  
He takes a shaky breath. “Yeah. Yeah okay.”  
I shut the curtains, pulling on yesterday’s jeans from the floor and throwing a hoodie on over my pajama shirt. I grab another one, remembering Dan shivering in only his t shirt.  
I’m almost scared to hear about why he’s so terrified. I know his mom isn’t anyone easy to live with but what had she done?   
I climb out of my window to see him crouched on the roof a few feet away from my window, his knees pulled to his chest. He looks up when I crawl towards him, gratefully taking the jacket that I offer him but keeping his face downcast and away from any light.  
“Dan? What’s wrong?” I ask him, and for a while he doesn’t answer.  
We sit next to each other, watching the cold, clear sky above us and breathing out smoke from out mouths. Finally he whispers, “She’s never hit me before.”  
I pull in a sharp breath, watching him. He looks so empty, devoid of any light or hope, his face skillfully turned away from the moonlight to hide something.  
Slowly I reach out a hand, gently placing it against his cheek to move his face in to the moonlight. He lets me and soon I see a massive purple bruise on his cheek and a single trail of blood carving it’s way down from his eyebrow. He looks up at me with such defeat in his eyes and it kills me.   
“Ohh baby.” I whisper, pulling him towards me. “We need to get you out of there.”  
The teenager lets himself be pulled to me, his hands gripping the fabric of my sleeve so hard his knuckles turn white. I feel his heart pounding against mine, and his breathing is ragged.  
Eventually he pulls away and I let him, holding on to only his hand.  
“Dan, what happened?”  
“We…fought. Again. She called me a fag for loving you and she told me that if I don’t find a girl to love instead then I could just go ahead and…..” He swallowed. “Kill myself.” I listen, wanting to urge him on, wanting to hear what happened but I wait as he pulls in a deep breath before continuing. “I told her that I didn’t care what she thought about me, that she couldn’t make me stop loving you and if she didn’t like it then it was her problem.” His voice drops and I have to strain to hear him. “Then she hit me. Three times. Before I ran.”  
I lean over, gently rubbing his back as I listen to him. I hate seeing him so broken. Dan slowly leans in to me until his head is resting on my shoulder, our fingers still intertwined on my lap.   
“Did you run from there all the way to here?” I ask, and he nods. It’s a straight 9 miles between us and I know he doesn’t run very often.  
I let him enjoy the silence for a few minutes before tentatively asking, “Was she sober?”  
He hesitates, then nods in defeat. “Yes. She knew what she was doing.”  
I press my cheek in to his hair, trying to think of something to say. I know saying crap like, “It’ll get better” is stupid. It’s not going to and there’s no use lying about it. But I don’t want to kill him by being harsh.   
“Is she looking for you?” I ask. I know she’ll sometimes completely kick him out of the house, telling him not to come back and on nights like those Dan will come and stay with me and my mom until his shows up, yelling that he ran away.  
“I don’t know. I ran before she said anything.” He’s quiet for a little until I hear his broken whisper, “Phil I’m so scared.”  
I nod, rubbing his back and trying to calm him down. He’s shaking and his heart is beating like a drum against mine. Until tonight, I’d never heard him say that. That he was scared.  
Scared.  
Right now I feel more scared than I have in years and that’s nothing compared to what he’s feeling.   
I gently reach out and take his wrist in my hand, turning his hand over to reveal the thousands of scars on his forearm and wrist, spider-webbing across his skin. I trace them with a finger, making sure to go over each one. There aren’t any new ones, and I breath a silent breath of relief. I feel him watching me as I study his arm. The scars are beautiful in a sick, twisted sort of way. They climb across his skin like snowflakes, creating tiny patterns among each other. Long, thin ones merge in to short, deeper ones and they link up to form some sort of gruesome web that covers his entire arm.  
His voice shakes as he keeps talking.  
“I’m so scared she’ll come looking for me. What if she finds me with you? What if she hurts you? She can’t hurt you right? She can’t hurt me. Not anymore. I’m past that.” He’s speaking so low, I can’t tell if he’s reassuring me or himself. “She can’t hurt me anymore. I’m fine. I’m fan-freaking-tastic that’s what I am. Oh God Phil what if she comes for me? What am I going to do when I go home?”   
I hush him, pressing a kiss to his temple. “You’re not going home. Okay? You’re staying here with me and I’m going to take care of you and you’ll be okay. We’ll both be okay and you won’t have to see her anymore.” I’m making empty promises, filling the air with something, anything, even if it’s false.  
He nods, like he’s trying to convince himself that I’m right.   
“Let’s go inside, okay?” I rub his shoulder. “You’ll freeze to death if we stay out here any longer.”  
“So what if I do?” I hear him mutter, but I pretend not to have heard.  
“Come on.” I hold his hand and lead him back to the window, letting him crawl in first. The warmth of the room fills us, calming down our shaking fingers and pink noses. He stands, waiting as I climb through the window. He looks so alone, his arms wrapped around themselves, fighting either the cold or something deeper. My over sized hoodie hangs off of his thin frame, making him seem tiny, childlike almost.   
“Take the bed.” I say, “I’ll go grab more blankets.”  
He nods, sitting on the edge of my bed and slowly yanking off his shoes, and leaving them neatly on the carpet. I raid the hallway closet for extra blankets, heaping them on the floor for a makeshift bed.  
I feel him watching me even with my back turned, but he doesn’t say anything.  
When my ‘bed’ is made, I climb up next to Dan, sitting next to him and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You go to sleep, okay? I’ll be here when you wake up.”  
He nods, and then whispers out a faint ‘I’m sorry’.  
The sound of it breaks me, gently ripping me apart from the inside out. I rub his shoulder, my other hand carding through his hair.  
“Don’t apologize baby.” I say, “You’re okay.”  
His eyes flutter shut and his breathing evens out as he falls asleep.  
I crawl back to my spot on the floor, focusing on the sounds of his breathing.   
I don’t try to convince myself not to be scared, I know I should be. I should be terrified and I am. Terrified that I’m somehow going to lose Dan. Or he’ll lose himself.  
But right now, we’re safe.   
Right now, I can convince myself that we’ll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!   
> Comments and Kudos are welcome! :)


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